JSLALALAND

CITY & ITS PEOPLE

The LA wellness slang translator

In LA, if you don't speak wellness slang you can't even keep up at brunch. The 14 most common terms, each with a 'grandma version': they sound brand new, but in Chinese, most grandmas said them ages ago. (Life observation, not medical advice.)

Translated from Jasmine’s original Chinese. The illustrated slides are on the interactive reader.

Key points

Full text

  1. 01｜Nervous system regulation

    Letting your body slowly shift from tense to relaxed. Grandma's version: 'Stop overthinking and go to bed early.' New name, old idea.

  2. 02｜Gut health

    Kombucha, sauerkraut, probiotics, everything's about gut health. Grandma's version: 'Have a Yakult.' Eating three regular meals with more vegetables often does more than a very expensive kombucha.

  3. 03｜Anti-inflammatory

    An anti-inflammatory diet: turmeric, berries, less sugar, less processed food. Grandma's version: 'Don't eat such heaty food.' 'Heaty' isn't exactly the same thing, but when you explain it to American friends, everyone gets it.

  4. 04｜Adaptogens

    Ashwagandha, reishi, ginseng, made into powders for your coffee and smoothies. Grandma's version: 'Stew a ginseng chicken.' If you're on medication or pregnant, always ask your doctor first.

  5. 05｜Cortisol face

    The 'stress face' trending on social media isn't a medical term. Grandma's version: 'Did you stay up too late last night?' A puffy face in the morning is often just last night's popcorn chicken.

  6. 06｜Dopamine detox

    A day with no scrolling, no bingeing shows, no sweets. Grandma's version: 'Stop staring at your phone.' Dopamine doesn't really get detoxed, so the name's a bit much, but a day off your phone really does feel good.

  7. 07｜Detox / Cleanse

    Juice fasts, three days of nothing but vegetable and fruit juice. Grandma's version: 'Eat lighter.' Your liver and kidneys already do this job; a cleanse is more of a fresh-start ritual.

  8. 08｜Glucose spike

    Vegetables before rice, a walk after meals, vinegar in water. Grandma's version: 'Go take a walk after you eat.' Taiwanese people have been doing the after-dinner walk since we were kids.

  9. 09｜"Are you getting enough protein?"

    Counting grams at every meal, adding protein to your coffee too. Grandma's version: 'Have another braised egg.' In LA, even ice cream comes in a high-protein version.

  10. 10｜Sleepmaxxing

    Chasing a sleep score: mouth taping, magnesium, blackout curtains, a smart ring. Grandma's version: 'Go to bed at ten.' Mouth taping is controversial, so ask a doctor first if you have breathing issues; the simplest trick is keeping your phone out of the bedroom.

  11. 11｜Lymphatic drainage

    Lymphatic massage, a signature treatment at lots of LA spas. Taiwanese version: 'Go get a rubdown from the master.' In LA it's a treatment; in Taiwan it's the massage place on the corner.

  12. 12｜Somatic

    Emotions get stuck in your body, and you release them with movement and breath. Grandma's version: 'If you're in a bad mood, go move around.' Sounds woo-woo, but a lot of things you can't put into words really do loosen up when you move.

  13. 13｜Healing era / Soft life

    A healing era, slow living, no longer treating busy as an achievement. Grandma's version: 'Rest is so you can go further.' Sleeping well is the real luxury.

  14. 14｜Hot girl walk

    Walking while thinking about things that make you happy. Grandma's version: 'Take a lap around the park after dinner.' The only difference is that the LA version wears a matching set and posts a story.

  15. Whether to follow it: listen to your body, not the trend

    Worth following: nervous system regulation, walking after meals, no phone in the bedroom. Depends on your mood: adaptogens, lymphatic massage, the occasional cleanse. No need to stress about: cortisol face, your daily sleep score.

  16. LA is great at giving old wisdom new names

    At the end of the day, everyone's looking for the same thing: sleep a little better, eat a little better, be a little gentler with yourself. 'Translate LA's wellness jargon into Chinese, and most of it is stuff Grandma already said.'

In this series

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An original JSLALALAND field guide by Jasmine Chang (@jslalaland).