JSLALALAND

CITY & ITS PEOPLE

LA wellness people come in roughly these 6 tribes

In LA, wellness isn't just health; it's an identity. Where someone is at 9 a.m. on a Saturday tells you their tribe. Six tribes plus a hidden one, check all that apply. Life observation, not health advice.

Translated from Jasmine’s original Chinese. The illustrated slides are on the interactive reader.

Key points

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  1. 01 | The Smoothie Era (team Erewhon)

    A nearly $20 smoothie is an attitude. 'I'm just running in for a bottle of water.' Comes out $86 later. In Taipei, health is Grandma's four-herb soup; in LA, it's a smoothie with a name.

  2. 02 | The Reformer Girl (team Pilates)

    Reformer class is as non-negotiable as work, there's a whole row of grip socks in different colors, it's straight to brunch after class, and "engage your core" slips out in conversation.

  3. 03 | The Good Vibrations (team sound bath)

    Weekends are sound baths, breathwork and full moon rituals, there's at least one crystal in the bag, and they're regulars at outdoor sound baths in Malibu and Topanga. 'I need to ground for a sec.'

  4. 04 | The Biohacker (team cold plunge)

    First thing every morning is three minutes in a cold plunge, they check their smart ring's sleep score daily, and within three sentences they're talking about HRV. They're not resting; they're optimizing rest.

  5. 05 | The Chinamaxxer (team herbal medicine)

    The thermos always holds hot water or red dates and goji, they frown at anyone drinking iced Americano first thing in the morning, and they're regulars at 626 herbal shops. In Taipei this is called Grandma's advice; in LA it's called Chinamaxxing.

  6. 06 | The Hot Girl Walk (team 'I'll just walk')

    Doesn't buy classes; ten thousand steps a day on Runyon Canyon, the beach path or around the neighborhood; rolls their eyes at $20 smoothies, but still buys one now and then. The cheapest type might also be the one that lasts longest.

  7. Hidden type | The Wellness Tourist (team try-everything)

    Mouth taping this week, castor oil packs next week, and a whole cabinet at home of things 'tried once.' If you've read this far, you might be this type.

  8. Same question | Saturday, 9 a.m.: where are you?

    Waiting for a spot in the Erewhon parking lot, on the reformer for a second class, not wanting to get up from savasana, in minute three of a cold plunge, simmering soup in the kitchen, halfway up Runyon, or on IG hunting for the next trend.

  9. Same question | When you're stressed

    Buy yourself a smoothie as a treat, add another class, ground for a bit, double the cold plunge, soak your feet and go to bed early, walk until it makes sense, order something new. How you handle stress shows which type you are.

  10. The most common combos

    Pilates × Erewhon: straight from class to a smoothie. Sound bath × Chinese medicine: East and West, both please. Chinese medicine × Erewhon: still buys the smoothie, but always no ice. In LA, nobody is just one type.

  11. At the end of the day

    In LA, wellness easily becomes a competition: whose smoothie costs more, whose sleep score is higher. But every type wants the same thing: to sleep a little better, worry a little less and be a little kinder to themselves.

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An original JSLALALAND field guide by Jasmine Chang (@jslalaland).